New Year's Revolution

[Dave]

I'm gonna post it bit by bit as I write it, so if it seems like there's a lot missing, well it's coming.

Here is the card.

Elimination Chamber Match for the World Series Championship
Goncalves (c) v Dave v Cam v GoldSlime v Merlin v TBD

Steel Cage Match for the National League East Divison Championship - winner gets a spot in the main event
Beane (c) v Gene

Moore v GB

Caddy v Kyle v Jabroni

Five Man Over the Top Battle Royale

The Return of Jew - Scott Congress in action

(yes I copped out with respects to the main event. fuck you.)

[Dave]

A promotional video airs, hyping up tonight’s Elimination Chamber main event.

The theme song, Trivium’s “Dying In Your Arms”, hits as an impressive display of pyro goes off. Michael Cole quickly runs down the card while JBL lambasts anyone who has quit this league or wants to quit. He stops just shy of calling them all Mexican faggots.

The steel cage begins to lower from the ceiling. The NL East Division title is on the line next!

[Bacon Drips]

(arms)

[Dave]

Gene is the challenge, so he comes out first. His theme music is Between the Buried and Me – The Need for Repetition. He climbs into the ring and looks at the cage with a worried look on his face. JBL reminds us all of what happened the last time these two locked up, which was back at Survivor Series. Cole recaps what happened after Survivor Series, when Beane attacked Gene in his locker room and stole the title belt.

Whitesnake – Give Me All Your Love hits. Beane comes out with the championship belt around his waist. He takes the belt off and raises it before carrying it down to the ring. Beane climbs into the ring and the cage door closes behind him. He looks at his belt before handing it to the referee.

Beane v. Gene II – Steel Cage Match for the National League East Division Championship

The bell rings and the combatants lock up. Gene sticks his thumb in Beane’s eye and Beane grabs his face and turns his back on Gene. Mistake. Gene quickly goes for a roll up but Beane kicks out before the ref can get his hand down to the mat. Beane glares at Gene and the two lock up again. Beane slugs Gene in the ribs and Gene drops to his knees gasping for air. Beane walks behind Gene and puts him in a surfboard style hold. Gene struggles to get back up, but Beane boots him in the back when he does and Gene falls back to the ground. Beane stomps on Gene’s back twice and then hits an elbow drop right on Gene’s spine, causing Gene to cry out in pain. Beane grabs Gene’s head and drags him over to the corner, resting his head on the bottom turnbuckle. Beane stomps on Gene’s back twice more. He then puts his feet on the bottom ropes and bounces up and down on Gene’s back. Beane picks Gene up and whips him across the ring to the corner, then hits him with a stiff clothesline that knocks him over. Beane picks up Gene and turns him around, then slams his head on the top turnbuckle and leaving him slouched in the corner with his back exposed. Beane starts circling and then starts running in a circle before stopping, pointing at Gene’s back, and taking off towards him. Midway across the ring he takes off into the air and goes for a big hanging dropkick. Gene moves at the last second though and Beane’s feet get caught on the second turnbuckle and trip him up. Gene hits a fist drop on Beane, then picks him up and puts him in the corner. Gene climbs the rope and goes for the ten punches of doom, but after the sixth Beane takes out Gene’s legs and Gene goes face first into the cage. Beane turns around and gloats, mocking Gene’s Orton poses from their last match. Beane grinds Gene’s face into the cage wall and Gene is busted open. Beane pulled back Gene’s head and then slams it into the cage. Gene falls to the ground. Beane shrugs and starts climbing the cage, but Gene is starting to stir. Beane stops a few feet from the top and turns around to flip Gene off, then keeps climbing. Gene is up now and staggers up the cage. Beane is climbing over the top but Gene is right there now. Beane takes a swing at Gene but Gene ducks the punch and grabs Beane’s arm. Gene head butts Beane twice and Beane looks groggy. Gene grabs Beane’s other arm and underhooks both of them. Beane is struggling to get out but it isn’t working. Gene’s own blood is dripping down his face and onto his chest. Gene looks around and smiles, then launches a huge double underhook superplex off of the top of the cage. The crowd starts their little “HOLY SHIT” chant and both men look dead. They lie there for a good minute. Both men start to get up at the same time and the crowd goes wild. They took at each other and start trading punches. Gene gets the upper hand and whips Beane to the cage wall. Gene runs after Beane and leaps to the top rope, climbs a few feet up the cage and then drops down with a two-footed stomp to Beane’s back/neck area. Beane collapses while Gene holds his back and grimaces, but then Gene grabs Beane’s feet and drags him into the middle of the ring. Gene starts to set up for the figure four leglock but Beane uses his other foot to push Gene off and towards the ropes. Gene bounces off the ropes and comes back at Beane who is ready with a scoop slam. Gene kicks out at two. Beane looks at the ref and pleads his case but it is of no use. By this point Gene is back up and when Beane turns around he is met with a kick to the stomach. Beane bends over and Gene hits a DDT. This has to be it. One, two – KICKOUT! The crowd is going wild. Gene has a look of disbelief on his face, but it turns to one of anger. Gene rises to his feet and pulls Beane to his. Gene puts Beane’s head between his legs and lifts him up for a piledriver. Beane uses his body to reverse it and Beane is standing with Gene upside down and wrapped around his back. Gene reverses it and hits the piledriver. One, two, three – we have a new champion folks.

The winner via pinfall and STILL National League East Division Champion – Gene.

Gene climbs out of the cage, raises his title for the fans, and then limps to the back. It was a hard fought victory and Gene evidently doesn’t want to stick around. Beane still hasn’t moved. The cage starts to rise back to the roof.

Cole and JBL are talking about the match we just saw. They remind the viewing audience that since Gene won the match, he will be added to the main event. Cole wonders how Gene will do after the beating he took in this match but JBL points out that, as a champion, Gene knows what is required of him and will rise to the occasion.

The five man battle royale is up next!

[Bacon Drips]

*waits*

[Dave]

Judas Priest – Metal Meltdown comes over the loudspeakers. That is Deuce’s music of course, and he comes down to the ring. He doesn’t really do anything, just sort of stands there bouncing around and getting pumped up for the match.

Diesel’s old theme music hits and Gehrig walks out. He points to Deuce and pumps his arm, which drives the crowd wild. Gehrig hits the ring and gets in Deuce’s face. The two stare at each other before Gehrig turns and walks to the other side of the ring and waits for the next entrant.

Children of Bodom – Follow the Reaper comes on and CSale sprints out and slides right into the ring. He pumps his fist for the crowd and Deuce hits him with a spear. The ref separates Deuce from CSale but CSale is definitely laid out. He rolls out of the ring and hits the floor.

Brian comes out to NOFX – One Celled Creature. He walks down to the ring and kicks CSale while he’s down. The ref didn’t see it and Brian rolls into the ring.

Yages comes out and is the final contestant. His theme music is Alexisonfire’s Little Girls Pointing and Laughing. He runs down to the ring and starts brawling with Brian. Gehrig and Deuce go after each other and the bell rings.

Brian, Yages, Gehrig, Deuce, and CSale in a Five Man Over-the-Top Rope Battle Royale.

Pretty much just straight up brawling to start the match. Gehrig knocks Deuce to the mat and kicks him a couple of times. Yages hits Gehrig in the back of the head so Gehrig and Brian double team Yages for a bit. Gehrig takes a step back and lets Brian take the lead on Yages but then Gehrig grabs Brian’s legs and dumps him over the top rope for the first elimination. Gehrig and Yages brawl but Deuce goes for a spear on Gehrig. Gehrig pulls Yages in front of him and Yages goes through the ropes but not over the top. It’s just Gehrig and Deuce in the ring now and they go straight at each other. Gehrig gets Deuce over the ropes but Deuce lands on the apron. Deuce pulls Gehrig over the ropes and they trade punches while trying to balance on the apron. Yages climbs back into the ring and tries to knock both Deuce and Gehrig off the apron with a double clothesline, but they duck and throw Yages over the rope and out instead. Yages hits the barrier between the crowd and the ring area and falls to the floor for the second elimination. Deuce climbs back into the ring. Gehrig uses the top rope to hit a springboard cross-body on Deuce. Gehrig gets up and runs the ropes and launches into a standing senton, but Deuce rolls out of the way and Gehrig hits nothing but mat. Deuce stomps on Gehrig and motions to the outside for the crowd, which garners a reaction. Deuce picks up Gehrig and drags him over to the ropes. He milks it for a bit too long though because CSale is suddenly alive again and hits a big springboard dropkick off the ropes that hits Deuce RIGHT IN THE FUCKING SKULL. Deuce goes sailing over the ropes and hits the floor for the third elimination. CSale starts yelling something at Deuce about that’s what he gets or something. Gehrig uses the opportunity to hit a lariat on CSale and send him over the rope and the bell rings.

Gehrig wins the Battle Royale.

Gehrig falls to the ground and puts his arms up in the air. The crowd goes crazy as he celebrates his victory.

A promo video airs to hype up the three way feud between Caddy, Jabroni, and Kyle that began over the Colella trade.

The triple threat match is next!

[Dave]

Kyle comes out to his new theme song, Dream Theater’s “Home”. He decided to kick the Mexicore gimmick after the last pay-per-view and it’s been working for him. JBL and Cole speculate on whether the new attitude will be enough for tonight’s match. Kyle climbs into the ring.

Dying Fetus – Destroy the Opposition hits and Caddy comes running down to the ring. He slides in and goes right after Kyle, but the ref keeps them apart. Caddy climbs the turnbuckle in the corner to work the crowd as his decidedly non-girly entrance music scares the children in the audience to the point where a small but distinct scent of doodie begins to fill the arena.

Darkest Hour – An Epitaph comes on and Jabroni comes out. He walks to the ring slowly, milking the crowd reaction. He climbs into the ring and the bell goes.

Caddy v. Kyle v. Jabroni in a Triple Threat Match

Caddy and Kyle go after Jabroni right away. Kyle backs up to let Caddy hit Jabroni with some seriously stiff kicks, but then Kyle grabs Caddy from behind to go for the roll up. Jabroni breaks it up by kicking Kyle in the side of the head. Jabroni throws Caddy to the outside of the ring and goes after Kyle. Kyle and Jabroni trade punches while Caddy stands up on the outside. Caddy turns to the crowd and taps his temple before going under the ring. Cole asks JBL what Caddy thinks he’s doing but JBL points out that there are no rules in this match; it is first pin or submission that wins. Jabroni and Kyle continue to brawl in the ring when suddenly Caddy slides a ladder into the ring and glares at both of them. Jabroni and Kyle look at each other and then start toward Caddy. Kyle goes to slide out of the ring but Caddy grabs the ladder and slams it against Kyle which knocks him to the floor. Jabroni stomps on the end of the ladder which makes the other end hit Caddy in the face and fall to the floor. Jabroni climbs out of the ring and pulls the ladder with him. He places the top of the ladder on Kyle’s head and wedges Caddy between the ends. Jabroni then climbs up to the apron and hits a leg drop from the second turnbuckle on Caddy. The ladder crunches around Caddy and the top goes up in the air, then slams down on Jabroni’s head. Jabroni picks up Caddy and rolls him into the ring and goes for the pin. One, two, but Caddy kicks out. Jabroni picks up Caddy and hits a snap suplex. Kyle rolls back into the ring and goes after Jabroni but Jabroni hits Kyle with a hip toss. Jabroni goes for the cover but Kyle kicks out at two. Caddy rolls to the corner and sits up. Jabroni picks Kyle up and punches him in the face. Kyle punches back and the two trade punches before Caddy takes out Jabroni with a vicious spear. Kyle starts laying the boots to Caddy. Caddy grabs Kyle’s foot though and flips him to the ground for an ankle lock. Kyle struggles to reach the ropes, but Jabroni helps him out by hitting Caddy in the back with a baseball bat that he picked up from under the ring. Caddy rolls out of the ring, selling the bat shot like it was a bullet, and rightfully so because it was damn stiff. Jabroni starts rotating the bat in his hands and points to the sky. Kyle starts to climb up and Jabroni goes for his home run swing. Kyle ducks and boots Jabroni in the stomach. Kyle shoves Jabroni’s head between his legs and makes a circular motion with his hands – he’s signaling for a flip piledriver. Jabroni stands up though and Kyle takes a back body drop over the top rope. Caddy slides a big plywood board that is covered in barbed wire into the ring and climbs in after it. Jabroni goes right after him through and nails Caddy with a big clothesline. Jabroni sets up the barbed wire board in the corner. Kyle is now fishing for goodies underneath the ring as Caddy staggers to his feet. Jabroni goes to Irish whip Caddy into the barbed wire but Caddy resists and plants a big swinging neckbreaker on Jabroni. Kyle slides a table into the ring and throws a bottle of lighter fluid over the top and into the middle of the ring. Kyle climbs up to the apron and motions for Caddy to bring whatever he’s got. Caddy rushes at Kyle and Kyle ducks at the last second, sending Caddy flying over the ropes and crushing the Spanish announce table, monitors and all. Kyle climbs back into the ring and walks over to where Jabroni is standing up. Kyle boots Jabroni in the stomach and Jabroni doubles over. Kyle signals for the flip piledriver and hits Jabroni with it. Kyle goes for the cover and a three count to win a brutal match.

The winner via pinfall – Kyle.

System of a Down’s “Sugar” hits and Swiggum makes his return to the league to thunderous applause. He rushes the ring and attacks Kyle and the two begin to brawl. Caddy slides back into the ring and sets up the table. Caddy motions to Swiggum and Swiggum grabs Kyle’s legs and tosses him up into the air. Caddy gets the cutter in and it’s official – Kyle has just taken a 3-D through the table. Swiggum raises his arms in celebration to signal that he’s back. Caddy walks over to Swiggum with a smile on his face. Swiggum opens his arms to embrace Caddy, but Caddy suddenly leaps up into the air and hits Swiggum with a big dropkick that sends Swiggum into the barbed wire board that’s set up in the corner! The board snaps Caddy grabs the lighter fluid and dumps it on Swiggum, then pulls out a lighter from his pocket and tosses it onto Swiggum, who not only can’t get out of the barbed wire, but is now on fucking fire. Caddy then grabs the bat that Jabroni hit him with earlier and hits Jabroni with it while Jabroni writhes in pain on the ground. Caddy tosses the bat to the floor and climbs the turnbuckle. He motions around his waist – it looks like Caddy wants to challenge for the title! The crowd is absolutely stunned and silent. Caddy climbs down and walks up the aisle as fans throw stuff at him.

A promotional video airs to hype up the OOTP return of Scott Congress.

JBL and Cole are talking about the carnge we just witnessed in the ring. JBL says it’s clear that Caddy means business, but Cole points out that Kyle was the one who got the clean victory. Swiggum is being cut out of the barbed wire; the fire has been put out. Jabroni and Kyle are slowly making their way up the aisle.

Scott Congress is back in action – next!

[Bacon Drips]

win

[Are you ready?]

OH


MY


GOD


My slaughtering of Swiggum was one of the most biggest unleashings of pwnishment even.

[Dave]

Oops! I Did It Again comes on the loudspeaker, and that can only mean that RDoug is heading to the ring. He comes out to a chorus of boos.

Hulk Hogan’s Real American song comes on and the crowd pops to a thunderous ovation. Their hero is back. Scott Congress, everyone’s favourite Jewish superhero, has made his return to OOTP action. He climbs into the ring and gets right down to business.

Scott Congress v. RDoug

Scott hits RDoug with three jabs and then nails him with a big right hook. Scott sends RDoug into the ropes and hits him with a big lariat on his way back. RDoug climbs up and takes a swing but Scott ducks and hits RDoug with a big reverse DDT. Congress goes to the corner and climbs the turn buckle. He stands up and points to his elbow – here comes The Audit! Scott crouches and takes off with a flying elbow drop onto RDoug. The crowd pops so loud that it makes that pussy Austin look like Charlie Haas. Scott stands up and starts shaking his fists. RDoug climbs to his feet and it probably isn’t the best move. Congress hits a big boot to the stomach which doubles RDoug over, then Congress pulls RDoug in and sticks his head between his legs. Scott slashes his hands in the air – Jew’s Edge! Jew’s Edge! Scott Congress flips RDoug over his shoulders, lifts him above his head, flashes a million dollar (literally) smile, and comes down with a thunderous crucifix powerbomb. Scott Congress goes for the cover, and it’s all over.

The winner via pinfall – Scott Congress.

What a return match for the Jewish Superhero.

A video airs to hype up the upcoming match and recap the feud between GB and Moore.

Moore v. GB is next!

[Dave]

Against Me! – From Her Lips to God’s Ears hits and Moore walks out looking rather disgruntled. Who can blame him? His tag team partner at Survivor Series turned on him and his opponent in that match is getting a world title shot later tonight. He enters the ring and doesn’t even try to work the crowd – he means business tonight.

Funeral Thirst by The Black Dahlia Murder comes over the loudspeaker and GB walks out. He points at Moore and laughs before heading down to the ring. Moore doesn’t waist any time and attacks GB as he’s heading down the aisle.

Moore throws GB into the steel steps and GB crashes hard with his knee first. GB gets up but he’s staggering and falls onto the barrier. Moore goes after him and levels him with a big spinebuster onto the floor. Moore starts booting GB in the face, then picks him up and rolls him into the ring. Moore follows and the bell rings.

Moore v. GB

Moore goes for a pinfall right away and gets a two count, but GB kicks out. Moore picks up GB and hits him with a big exploder suplex. Moore stomps on GB’s knee and rips off the padding. He keeps working on the knee and then wraps GB up for the figure four leglock. GB cries out in pain and reaches for a rope break, barely making it. Moore gets up and goes back to stomping on GB’s knee. Moore drags GB more into the center of the ring and rolls GB over for a single leg Boston crab. Moore is focusing his entire body on the one knee which is how GB is able to roll out of it. GB tries to get to his feet but his knee is hurting and he falls. Moore sets GB up in the corner and puts his knee on the bottom rope. Moore jumps on the knee and GB writhes in pain. Moore goes for a cover but GB kicks out. Moore drags GB back into the center of the ring and continues to work GB’s knee. Moore decides to go for a sharpshooter but GB uses his good leg to kick Moore away. GB crawls to the other side of the ring and uses the ropes to get up. Moore runs at GB for a clothesline but GB ducks and Moore goes flying over the top. Instead of trying to follow Moore out of the ring, GB keeps using the ropes to try to build his knee’s strength back up and to get on his feet. Moore shakes off the impact of the floor and climbs onto the ring apron and up to the top turnbuckle. Moore hits a missile dropkick on GB’s knee that knocks GB right over. GB rolls over and Moore tries to go for some sort of submission maneuver, but he doesn’t get it locked in enough to figure out what it was because GB rolls him over and Moore has to kick out to avoid being pinned. Moore gets back up to his feet and kicks GB’s knee out to prevent him from standing up. Moore goes for the roll up but GB somehow reverses it and rolls Moore up instead. GB grabs the ropes and SOMEHOW gets the pinfall!

The winner via pinfall – GB.

GB rolls out of the ring and staggers away while Moore looks confused. Cole sounds confused, as well – he’s not quite sure how GB managed to get the win there. JBL says that GB was just being smart and using the ropes. Cole says that’s cheating.

Backstage, Jeremy Borash is standing with Beane. Beane says he isn’t done with his quest for the division title just yet. He says he wants Gene for one more shot at the gold at No Way Out. He says he wants him to feel the pain that he’s felt. He says that at No Way Out, he wants Gene to put the division title on the line in a street fight. Gene walks up and stares into Beane’s eyes. He raises the division title belt into the air, then looks at it. Gene asks Beane if he wants the title back. Beane says he’ll do anything to get it back. Gene says that he doesn’t feel like putting the belt on the line in a standard pinfall match. Gene says that if Beane is going to take the title back, he’s going to have to climb over his dead body. Gene says that’s why he’ll put the title on the line in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match at No Way Out. Beane’s eyes widen and he stutters. Gene says to take it or leave it and walks away.

A promotional video airs to hype the upcoming elimination chamber match.

In the locker room, GB is limping around but seems in good spirits after his win. Suddenly Moore comes out of nowhere and attacks GB. Moore ties GB to his locker and grabs a bottle of Drano. Moore grabs GB’s face and makes him look into his eyes. Moore says that he wants GB to suffer. He says that he is going to end his life. He says he has a choice. Moore says that either GB signs on for an Anything Goes, Barbed Wire Rope, C4 Board, Exploding Ring Death Match at No Way Out, or Moore is going to pour Drano down GB’s throat and kill him right here and now. GB pleads with Moore and Moore says that he has two seconds to take the match. GB says he’ll face him at No Way Out. Moore hits GB in the head with the bottle of Drano and walks away.

The structure begins to lower. The main event is next!

[Yages]

#%)&@#%^)*&)^*#$&_%

[Dave]

Goncalves, the champion, comes out to Lamb of God’s As The Palaces Burn. He gives the title to the ref and steps into his pod.

GoldSlime comes out next. His entrance music is Guns ‘N Roses – Anything Goes. He steps into the Chamber and stares down Goncalves from inside his pod and motions across his waist that he wants the title. GS steps into his pod and we wait for the next person to come out.

Michael Bolton’s How Can We Be Lovers hits, and Dave comes out. He’s all business for this match, heading straight to his pod and speaking to himself.

Life Less Frightening by Rise Against comes over the speakers and Merlin, the commissioner, walks out. Cole mentions that there really is no reason for the commissioner of the league to put himself on the line like this, but JBL says that he has to if he wants to be world champion.

Children of Bodom’s In Your Face hits and Cam rushes out. Cam is headbanging to psyche himself up. It’s a title match, Cam – what more do you need?

Gene’s music hits and he comes out all bandaged up. He looks in pretty rough shape from the match earlier tonight, but he has something around his waist that he can be proud of – his division championship.

Gene and Cam are the first two to start. The door is locked and the bell rings.

Gene v. Cam v. Dave v. GS v. Goncalves v. Merlin in an Elimination Chamber match for the World Series Championship

Gene and Cam lock up right away and it’s clear that things aren’t looking good for Gene off the start. Cam is fresh and Gene looks beaten. Cam elbows Gene in the face where he’s bandaged and Gene’s cut opens. Ten seconds in and he’s already bleeding. Gene throws Cam to the ropes but Cam just bounces back and slugs Gene with a stiff punch that knocks Gene out. Literally, Gene just went unconscious. Cam runs over to Goncalves’ pod and runs his hands over his waist. Gene starts to stir again and Cam climbs the top rope. Cam is going for a Tit Bomb – he hits the thundering frog splash on Gene and the referee makes the count. One, two, three. Gene’s world title hopes will have to wait. Meanwhile, Cam has some time before the next man comes out so he climbs up onto the ropes. Looks like he’ll be trying for another Tit Bomb as soon as someone else comes into the ring. Gene is helped from the structure and to the back, but Beane runs out and hits Gene in the head with a chair. Beane signals that he wants the division title and spits on Gene before running off. The countdown begins and the lights flash over the various pods. The light stops on Goncalves pod, which unfortunately for Cam is the pod that is behind him. Before Cam can turn around Goncalves is already out and shoves Cam hard to the mat. Goncalves climbs the ropes and goes for a shooting star press that connects. One, two, but Cam kicks out. Goncalves throws Cam over the ropes and to the steel outside and the two brawl. Goncalves hits Cam with a forearm that knocks Cam to the wall, then Goncalves hits a big dropkick that knocks Cam over. Goncalves picks up Cam and rubs his face into the chain. Goncalves keeps grinding Cam’s face into the chain and Cam cries out while the blood pours down his face. Goncalves lets up and takes a step back to ram Cam’s face into the cage again. Cam gets out of the way however and Goncalves just runs right into the chain. Cam gets up and hits a release suplex on Goncalves that causes Goncalves to land in a hangman between the ropes. Cam hits Goncalves with a big enziguri that knocks Goncalves out of the hangman. The lights dim and the next open pod is chosen – it’s Merlin who rushes out and hits Cam with a lariat that knocks him back over the ropes and then drops an elbow on Goncalves and goes for the cover. One, two, kickout! Merlin starts rubbing his fist in Goncalves face before Cam hits a swinging neckbreaker on Merlin. Cam goes for the cover on Merlin but Merlin kicks out after only one. Goncalves is the first one up and kicks Merlin then goes for Cam, who by this point is up as well. The two lock up while Merlin rises to his feet and wraps his arms around Cam for a big German suplex. Cam elbows Merlin in the face but Merlin doesn’t let go. Just as Merlin is about to power Cam over his shoulder Cam grabs onto Goncalves’ arms and Merlin suplexes both of them. The difference is that Cam just hits the mat, while Goncalves goes flying into the chain wall. Merlin goes for the cover on Cam, who kicks out on two. Both men get up and start trading punches. Merlin pulls Cam towards him and lifts him up for a tombstone piledriver, but Cam uses his weight to reverse it and has Merlin up for a tombstone of his own. Goncalves gets up and hits a springboard bulldog on both Merlin and Cam to knock them over. Goncalves goes for the double cover but both Merlin and Cam kickout. The next pod is chosen and Dave comes rushing out. He throws Goncalves over the rope and to the outside and then hits a double underhook DDT on Merlin. Cam gets up and has a staredown with Dave, before extending his hand. Dave shakes it and it appears the two will be acting as a team. Cam goes to the outside to work on Goncalves while Dave starts stomping on Merlin. Cam hook in an armbar on Goncalves and goes to the top rope, but Goncalves pulls Cam down and crotches him. Dave sees what happened to his apparent partner and uses the ropes to go for a springboard moonsault on Goncalves, but Goncalves gets out of the way and Dave gets nothing but cold, hard steel. Goncalves rolls Dave over for a cover but Cam stops the count and sends Goncalves back into the ring before checking on Dave. Merlin is there to meet Goncalves and lifts him up for his tombstone piledriver – this time he hits it. Cover and a three count, meaning we’re going to be seeing a new champion. Cam heads back into the ring to go after Merlin and locks in an armbar on Merlin. The lights dim again and the last pod opens to let GoldSlime into the ring. He goes right to work on Dave, who is still on the outside of the ring. Cam hits Merlin with a Russian leg sweep and runs to the outside to help Dave. Cam and GS trade punches while Dave rolls back into the ring and gets up. Merlin grabs Dave and whips him to the other corner and then follows, looking for a clothesline. Dave ducks and lifts Merlin up on his shoulders in fireman’s carry position. Dave looks out through his crimson mask and rotates Merlin around and up and hits a sitout powerbomb on Merlin and goes for the cover. One, two, three, and Merlin has been eliminated. Cam slams GS into the cage wall and climbs back into the ring to clap for Dave. Dave stands up and smiles and points to GS on the outside. Cam flashes a thumbs up to Dave, turns around and looks at GS, then turns back to Dave and turns his thumb down. To drive the point home Cam hits a huge elevated cutter on Dave and goes for the cover. Cam has just turned on his friend and teammate! Dave is eliminated and the crowd boos Cam heavily. Cam stands up and shakes his head at Dave and climbs up to the top rope while JBL explains to Cole and the home audience that the world title is more important than friendship. Cam goes for a big Tit Bomb on GS but GS rolls out of the way and back into the ring and Cam eats a combination of pod glass, wall chain, and floor steel. GS stands up slowly and climbs back through the ropes. GS lifts up Cam and sends him back into the ring. GS climbs onto the top turnbuckle and goes for a 450 splash on Cam, but Cam moves and GS hits the mat hard. Cam quickly goes for the cover but GS kicks out. Cam slides GS more into the center and splashes him. GS writhes in pain as Cam climbs back to the top. Cam takes off and hits a huge Tit Bomb on GS. One, two, three! The bell rings and we have a new champion!

The winner and NEW World Series Champion – Cam!

Cam grabs his belt and celebrates. GS stands up and looks forlornly at the title. GS offers his hand as a sign of respect and Cam takes it and embraces GS. GS raises Cam’s hand and fireworks go off.

JBL raves about the new champion while Cole remarks that Cam will need to watch his back while he is the title holder. Both thank the audience for inviting them into their homes. New Year’s Revolution ends as the copyright information comes up on the screen.

Thank you for joining us!

[Dave]

Quick Results

Gene def. Beane
Gehrig def. Yages, Deuce, CSale, and Brian
Kyle def. Jabroni and Caddy
Netfan def. RDoug
GB def. Moore
Cam def. GS, Dave, Merlin, Goncalves, and Gene

[Dwight Schrute]

I totally would've killed GB. I don't fucking play.